Letter to God

Dear God,

Thank you thank you THANK YOU for giving me my dog Hershey. He is adorable and I love him very very much. He's always cuddly, and I love to watch him sleep. Every once in a while I can see his legs twitch, or his nose wiggle, and I wonder where his thoughts are. Is he flying through a meadow? Is he saving the earth from an impending alien attack? I'm not sure, but it sure is cute.

HOWEVER, I am very confused by this recent set of superpowers you have given him. Hershey has always had this one power, well let's just say he can clear out an area quite quickly with his um... toots.

Well upon arriving at home I have recently discovered that these have become increasingly common, overwhelming in fact, and just plain gross. So God. I ask you this, ... WHY? Just why? Also, why have these actions suddenly become equipped with audio? Just answer the question. Is this necessary? Is it necessary for me to walk into a room, and then walk immediately in the opposite direction for the fear that my poor little nose hairs might suddenly burst into flames? I mean at least now I have some notice with these newly developed noises you've given him, but still... WHY?!?


You're confused friend,

Christina