A blast from the past...

Right now I'm watching Buffy season 6. I never really watched all of season 6 so I'm trying to watch the entire season, and finish the series. I own seasons 1 through 5, but I never picked up 6. I do love Buffy though. I can fondly remember during high school having a Buffy marathon while I painted my room a bright orange color. A shade which my mother said in a disgusted tone looked "like a Cheeto". That weekend I decided to have a marathon of my favorite TV shows. I watched as Buffy delivered punch after punch, fell in love with Angel, delivered classic one liners, and felt the pain of too much responsibility with which she had no control over. That weekend I also watched Dawson's Creek, my all time favorite show. Yes I have been thoroughly mocked by many for this, but I love it, and I'm proud of it. I watched as Joey, my favorite character, delivered cynical line after cynical line, cried over feeling too overwhelmed with her love first for Dawson, then Jack, then Dawson again, and then Pacey. I swooshed my bright rebellious hue against the wall and listened as she became angry because of the overwhelming responsibility she held at the age of 16.

I remember feeling at 16 like I could relate to Buffy and Joey. I remember feeling so out of place in my skin. I had a desire to explore more, get out of high school, and start my dream life. It's funny how even though I had an amazing college experience, moved back into a city, have a wonderful love in my life, and am really happy, most of the larger than life plans I dreamed about haven't really happened yet. I'm just at the tip of the iceberg and I have 90% under the surface that I have yet to see.

I still need to go to Italy, France, Greece, Ireland, India, and so many other places. I still have yet to move to New York. I'm hoping I'll finally be able to do that this Fall. I'm praying that things work out, and I'll be able to pursue my Master's Degree. I feel like I'm still in that orange room sometimes, looking around at this shocking color and wishing I could be just as shocking. Wishing I could just hop on a plane and live in Italy, wishing I could take a job in London and explore the English countryside. Now I'm in San Jose in a bright blue room. Yet I'm still thinking about being somewhere else. I'm still dreaming, and I don't think I'll ever stop. In the end I think that's a good thing.


So I raise my glass of ice water, nibble on my Reese's Peanut Butter egg, and make a toast to my future. May it be full of travels, laughter, anger, sadness, lessons, good food, great wine, hugs, kisses, and most importantly love. After all, Buffy did get to explore, Joey did go to France, and they both stayed true to themselves in the process. That might be a bit too cheesy for some people, but so was that room.